Getting married is a huge deal. There is so much wedding planning that needs to be done. You have to pick the location, cake, bridal party, and list goes on an on. What happens when the wedding is over and the marriage starts? There are more things to plan before marriage then the wedding day.
When it’s time to get engaged, the person proposing has many things to consider. Are you ready to live with this person forever? Is it a smart decision financially? What engagement ring will she like? How will you propose? In front of everyone? When you’ve proposed and got a “yes”, it’s time to plan the other things, besides the wedding.
Where to live
If you live in two different cities, you must talk about this before marriage. You should both be happy with your decision. If one person is settling on that decision, it can cause trouble down the road. If you can’t choose between the two, you could choose a new city altogether.
If you live in the same city, which persons house will you choose? You may choose to start with a new place for both of you. Be sure to consider your lifestyles and commutes when making the decision.
This is also the time to choose between renting or buying a home. If you are planning to purchase a home, you need to discuss finances.
If you both had places before the wedding, then you will need to decide what stays and what goes. Combining two households can be difficult. There will be a lot to go through, not to mention the new items you receive from the bridal shower. Choose the big items first, like your bed and couch. For the rest, ask your friends or family if they have a spare room to put your belongings while you are deciding what to keep. If that isn’t an option, you can rent a unit from a storage company. The price is affordable and you can choose month to month if you need to.
Finances
This can be tricky. First, you should take a look at debit and credit scores. If there is a lot of debit or poor credit, this can be difficult. It is important to know where you both stand financially. If you plan to purchase a home together, this can be a big deal. Poor credit can result in higher interest rates and even a denial. If one of you has poor credit, it is time to find out why? Did they forget to pay the bills? Where they irresponsible about money? Is this still an issue? This is the time to decide who will take care of paying the bills, both financially and the act of paying them. If one partner remembers to pay the bills on time, this may be the task for them. If one partner makes more money, they may be better to handle the bigger bills. If one of you puts too much on credit cards, this is the time to talk about why and a solution. Remember, you’re in this together.
For some couples it is easier to keep money separate. Each of you are responsible for your own money and bills. This may not be an attractive idea to some couples, because it leaves the couple separate financially. On the other hand, it can be useful to some couples because tracking day to day expenses can be difficult. You may not remember to tell your partner every expense you had that day. Maybe you saw a great deal and made an unusual purchase. These are scenarios you should think about before merging accounts.
Getting engaged is an exciting time. It is also the time to have a good discussion on the future. Where to live and finances are a huge deal in marriage. It’s better to be open and honest now, before there is a problem rather than trying to fix a problem later.
