Yahoo Answers started out as such a great idea. Real people asking real questions and getting answers from other real people but in all honesty, I think we could all see how it could go horribly wrong. Any time a large group of people gathers in the same place on the internet, there are bound to be problems. The good news is that the problems with Yahoo Answers are a big part of the appeal of the site. While people may not always get the answers they want, the pure comedic value of it all can’t be denied. There are entire websites dedicated to funny Yahoo Answers questions and answers and I have spent countless hours browsing a fair number of them. I don’t really consider myself a mean person but come on – you know what they say about asking a stupid question. Here are some of the funniest Yahoo Answers questions and answers I’ve stumbled across thus far in no particular order. Please enjoy.
*Note: Many of these posts were found on Unfriendable, a website chock full of ridiculous internet humor that will make you laugh and also probably make you feel like a terrible person for laughing and will probably make you think twice about posing a question on Yahoo Answers and consider your next Facebook status carefully.*
This one is pretty much a classic in the world of funny Yahoo Answers questions. While the longer, more detailed question originally posted has long since been deleted, people continue to post variations of it, looking for the response the original question got. Did the original poster really believe YouTube sent camera crews to film all of the videos on the site? Probably so. It’d be sad if it wasn’t so adorable.
Pretty Obvious Clue, Mom.
This one isn’t as dumb as it appears on the surface, honestly although catching the son having sex with another guy is probably a pretty big clue that the son is gay. The doesn’t necessarily have to be true though. He might be bisexual or he may just have been curious. It’s hard to say. I’d tell the mother (or father, I suppose) that talking to the son is the best way to find out. Either that or just head on down to WalMart and pick up the Gay Test. They’re usually right next to the pregnancy tests. If you’re worried, remember – at least if he’s gay you don’t have to worry about him getting his boyfriend pregnant.
One of Life’s Great Mysteries
I love this question because as the poster says, I’m pretty sure this one has crossed all of our minds at one point or another. It’s ridiculous of course but it’s just one of those things you sometimes find yourself wondering in the wee hours of the morning. Sure, I love milk but who was sitting around one day thinking, I bet if I tug on that cow’s utter for a while something delicious will come out. Ya know what? This one’s probably best left unanswered.
I’m Certain that is the Correct Answer
I’m guessing the original poster was looking for one of the following:
What the original poster got instead was absolutely perfect. What is another word for when you know you’re right? Woman. Does it make the most sense? No, but it did make me laugh.
Punny and Funny
There is no way the original poster was serious … right? Maybe it’s best to not think on that one too much. Anywho, while the first respondent probably had the best advice, I have to give the best answer award to *mental* for his wonderfully punny answer. Although I don’t need to “paws” for thought on this one. This poster is most definitely barking mad. But hey, to each their own.
Lose 50 Pounds in One Month?
Although perhaps a bit drastic, I really think amputation would be the original poster’s most healthy option for losing 50 pounds in one month which is a little sad. If lobbing off your legs is the healthiest way to reach your goal, perhaps you need to reevaluate that goal. Seriously, there is no healthy way to lose that much weight in such a small amount of time. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.
We Kid The Biebs
First, there is no possible way the original poster was being serious. I’m willing to bet he (or maybe she) was trolling to get an answer much like the one chosen as the best answer by voters. I’m not a Justin Bieber fan myself but I don’t think his fans have sustained blows to the head. Even so, the answer had just the right tone and just the right wording to make me laugh out loud so I had to include it on the list.
So I tried really hard to avoid any questions or answers that had writing or images either Photoshopped or Painted onto the photo but I couldn’t find the original question this answer went with and I could not pass up posing it. I have thought this very same thing so many times while browsing Yahoo Answers. It’s absolutely insane to me that so many people are posting these “am I pregnant” questions on a site like Yahoo Answers and expect to get confirmation or denials. We can’t see you. We can’t go by some vague list of symptoms and give you a diagnosis. You know who can? A doctor!
Answer It. You Must Always Answer It. It’s the Law.
This question made me laugh simply because I’m not a kid person. I don’t know how to talk to them and quite frankly, they freak me out. They’re just so tiny and they don’t understand logic. That throws me off. With that said, if a child hands me a toy phone, I answer it without hesitation because there is some sort of unspoken rule that says you have to. Of course, the first answer does raise a good point but what if it turns out it isn’t a phone at all. What if telemarketers have grown wise to the “can’t turn down a phone from a child” deal and have started hiring legions of toddlers to get you on the line? We’re all in trouble, my friends.
Saying “meow” to someone could mean a lot of different things. It could mean you think someone’s attractive. It could mean you think someone is being catty and mean. It could mean you believe you’re a cat and speak as such. Is someone is saying meow to you, it’s important to consider the context. If they’re leering at you and staring at you butt, they’re probably telling you they find your appearance appealing on a physical level. If they’re laughing and making a pawing motion after you’ve said something mean, they’re probably telling you you’re being catty. If they have four legs, a tail and are covered in fur, they’re a cat and you need to lay off the acid.
He Isn’t Your Future Husband.
Sometimes a long, drawn out, overly complicated question does not require a long, drawn out, overly complicated answer. This is a great example of that. The title of the question really said everything that needed to be said and the poster who offered the best answer hit on that immediately. The best part of the poster’s short, to the point answer? The source. It really can be that simple sometimes. Stop wasting your time on your “future husband” and focus on finding someone who, ya know, actually wants to be with you. It’s just common sense.
The Secret is Out!
I get the question. I really do. Growing up, I had a friend born on February 29th and on her 16th birthday we joked that she was only 4 years old. Even so, the answer to the question really made me chuckle. The idea that there could be such a facility out there both disturbs and amuses me. Seriously though, most Leap Babies celebrate their birthday on February 28th or March 1st. Not really that complicated at all.
I know this is probably going to upset some people but as I mentioned earlier, I don’t get the whole children thing. Kids freak me out and I seem to be missing whatever part of the brain turns adults into piles of mush when they see babies. Babies right after their born? Slimy, covered in goop and not at all cute. With that said, I’ve never questioned why that is because I don’t think it’s really that hard to grasp. I think the poster who took on this question answered it perfectly.
The Booze Blues
I’m quite sure the asker here genuinely was looking for an answer, I can’t help thinking he’s missing something. Something like, say, I dunno, the fact that alcohol is a depressant? While not everyone gets depressed and sad when they drink, some do and that has a lot to do with the depressant factor. Of course, my solution for that has always been to pop open another beer so many the answer isn’t so bad after all.
Answering a Question with a Question
Sometimes while browsing through Yahoo Answers, I wonder if people just post whatever thoughts pop into their heads. This butterflies in the stomach question is a good example of that. It just seems so vague and random. If you don’t know, we don’t know. It does seem, however, that the best answer makes the most sense. Butterflies in your stomach? Perhaps you’ve been eating caterpillars.
Rumor Has It
I remember all sorts of strange rumors going around about be back in high school. Heck, I still hear odd rumors about myself going around on a regular basis. I can understand someone asking about dumb rumors but the answer? That has to be one of the dumbest rumors I’ve ever heard. I’m not even sure how that would work or what the point would be. Clearly this person should’ve been home schooled because based on her schoolmates intellect and deductive reasoning, I’d have to imagine she would’ve gotten a better education at home.
The Name Game
I really want to believe the original poster was trolling but I’m just not convinced that’s the case. There are far too many people out there who name their kids outlandishly bizarre things. How about we make a rule? If you’re coming up with names for your baby girl and naming her after a fish is the best you can do, perhaps you’re not ready to be a parent. Serious points to poster number 2. “Prawn for your spawn” made me laugh far harder than it should have.
I know this isn’t a serious question and someone was just trying to stir the pot but it still amused me so I had to post it. Sometimes trolls can be funny too. It doesn’t happen often but when it does, it has to be recognized. You know, give credit where credit is due and all of that good stuff.
An Obvious Answer
If you’re looking for the definition of a word, there are perhaps better places to look than Yahoo Answers. They have these things called dictionaries and you’d be amazed at how many words you can find in there! There’s even an online version if you don’t feel like doing any of that fancy book learning. Regardless, when I saw this question had been posed, I knew for certain at least one of the answers would be “I’ll tell you later”. Hey, sometimes the best joke is the easiest one.
So … You Really Had Sex with your Sister?
Oh buddy, I think the cramp in your leg is the least of your problems. At first, I was certain this was just poorly worded but after reading the follow up question from another poster and the original poster’s question, I realized that no, it was not in fact poorly worded. So this is a troll then, right? RIGHT?? I try to avoid using caps and excessive punctuation in articles but there are just some times that one cannot help it. I feel like I need a shower. Also, that cramp in your leg? It’s build up filth and shame. The only way to get rid of it is to immediately stop having sex with your sister.
A Question for the Ages.
Like the asker, I’ve also found myself wondering this from time to time. I mean, hookers are people too. They must get cold out there walking the streets in their short skirts, heels and bikini tops. The rest of us bundle up when the weather gets cold but what’s a hooker to do?
Now, I get that the answer is a little bit rude but my good heavens – is this person serious? She needs the internet to help her convince her friends she’s not pregnant? There is absolutely nothing to indicate she’s pregnant other than a little weight gain. Remember earlier when I posted the rather angry answer from a poster who was a wee bit upset with the number of “Am I pregnant” questions on Yahoo Answers? This one would’ve shoved that poster clear over the edge.
Yes You Should be Worried. Very Worried.
Facebook can be complicated. I have friends who have accidentally set themselves to single, scaring the balls off their poor divorce fearing husbands but this one, well, it’s a little different, isn’t it? If my husband’s status suddenly changed to widowed, I’d definitely be concerned. Sarah Kelly has the right idea – start running indeed!
She’s 11? Good Lord.
Time for a little too much information but I was one of the first girls in my class to have Aunt Flow come to town and I was 14. I heard that girls are hitting puberty younger and younger but 11? Poor kid. Anyway, this is a great example of why there is a 13 or older rule on Yahoo Answers and why there needs to be some way to enforce that. I mean, come on – don’t tell her it just takes longer for boys. Sure, it made me laugh but that’s beside the point. This poor, poor adorable child just doesn’t understand why she has to put up with her period while her brother doesn’t. I don’t get it either, kiddo. If we have to, they should have to too.
Ignorance VS. Apathy: A Philosophical Debate
This one made me laugh and it made me laugh hard. Sure the answer was a little obvious but like I said in one of the earlier posts, sometimes the funniest joke is the most obvious one. While the original poster may have been looking for a serious answer, I have to give October credit for bringing it with the comic relief.
This Needs to be a Typo.
People, before you post a question, please, please check it over for typos, especially ones as bad as this. If this isn’t a typo, you daughter isn’t the only one with some serious problems. I don’t think I need to point out why a six year old can’t get a job and move out and I hope I don’t need to point out that if your six year old is having sex and doing drugs you have failed horribly as a mother.
Bad Dye Job
I don’t think there could’ve been a better answer to this question. Sure it was sarcastic and rude but come on – your hair doesn’t color as well the week before your period? Who the heck comes up with this stuff? I know there is often debate over whether or not sex ed should be taught in schools but I believe anyone against sex ed in schools should just take a quick look through Yahoo Answers because clearly, these kids have no idea what’s going on with their bodies.
I’m an honest person so I have two confessions to share. First, the your/you’re thing really bugs me. Second, I have on more than one occasion accidentally used these words incorrectly. I have a pretty hefty work load most of the time so in my haste to get things done, I sometimes miss a few things when I proofread. It happens. The problem is that some people don’t know the difference between the two and don’t care to learn. That’s why I liked the original question so much. It explained the difference between the two words perfectly and in language most can understand. That doesn’t mean the first answer didn’t make me laugh like a fool because it did. It really did.
I don’t even know what to say about this one. If the original poster was serious, I can’t for the life of me understand how he expected to get anything other than the “best answer”. Honestly, I just can’t wrap my head around it. If your arm turns red and shakes when you eat dirt, stop eating dirt. Problem solved.
Fear of Rejection Affirmed
Ah, this poor guy. He turns to Yahoo Answers for real help and instead he gets a sarcasm. Perhaps his problem was going to Yahoo Answers for real help in the first place. I guess you get what you asked for.
The 18 Hour Bra
What a ridiculous question. Of course the 18 hour bra doesn’t break after 18 hours. I don’t know exactly what it does after 18 hours, maybe it turns back into a pumpkin or something, but I do know it doesn’t break. It’s really the answer highlighted in red that earned this question a spot on the list. Let’s hope Tim is actually a cross dress and that his sister/mother/girlfriend didn’t accidentally log into his account, leading many to mistakenly believe he is. That would be embarrassing.
Yeah … That’s Not What They’re Looking for on your Drug Test.
Shockingly, this “having sex before a drug test will cause a false positive” rumor is one I’ve heard a few times before which make me very, very sad for the human race. It doesn’t even make sense. Sure having sex releases all sorts of chemicals in the brain but those aren’t the chemicals they’re looking for on a drug test.
I am Canadian and I can assure you, we do in fact have toilet paper. This one made me laugh though but mainly because I totally believe there are people out there who believe Canadians don’t use toilet paper. I’m not saying Americans are dumb, of course, but there are a few Americans out there who have no idea what this country called Canada is all about. I worked phone support for an American company before I started writing for a living and you’d be surprised the strange questions I’d get asked when callers learned I was in Canada. We don’t live in Igloos. We don’t travel to and from work via bobsled. We’re not all overly polite. We’re just like you except we’re a little further North.
Maybe He’s Not the Problem
What a fantastic answer to one of the dumbest questions I’ve ever read in my life. You like being high more than you like being with him? The relationship probably isn’t that great to begin with. As someone who doesn’t smoke pot but is constantly surrounded by people who do, I can tell you first hand that it can be exhausting to be the only non-stoned person in the room. Stoned people can be really annoying to the non-stoned person.
Doggie Gender Confustion
I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of responses this one got but I have to tell you a story to explain why I don’t think it’s that bad. I got a kitten a few months back and only recently decided it’s a boy. It has no testicles but it has a penis – definitely a boy. It’s possible this woman’s chihuahua has the same issue my kitten has. For whatever reason, sometimes the balls don’t drop. I cannot believe I just wrote those words, but there they are. Anyway, what really got me about this question was the way it was worded. Milk things? Pee pee? How freaking adorable is that? Also love the fact that despite the dog likely has a penis, the poster keeps referring to it as a she.
I love this question. Growing up, I was convinced I was adopted as well. I know this probably isn’t a serious question (Lord, I hope it’s not a serious question) but I still thought it warranted inclusion on this list anyway. And yes, Gerad, I think it’s time you came clean. They might not like hearing it but they’ll find out you were adopted eventually. Better that they hear if from you, their child.
There was just no way this guy was going to ask this question and get any useful answers. It just wasn’t possible. Ask a question like this and specify “nothing stupid” and you’re just begging to be screwed with. This poor guy just wants to make his penis bigger. Come on, guys – haven’t a lot of you wanted that at one point or another? Even so, I get this mental image of this guy ordering goat urine online, waiting for it to arrive, drinking down a big glass and just waiting for the magic to happen.
Not Sure This Guy Gets It
Okay, let’s talk boners, shall we? An erection happens when blood rushes to the penis, causing it to become swollen and hard. Wait, maybe we need to go back a bit further. Men have penises. The penis is what makes a man a man. We could debate manliness and all of that but at it’s core, the penis is what makes a man a man. There is no arguing that point. Women are not men. Therefore, women do not have penises. We have vaginas. Vaginas are not penises. When we put all this information together, we should be able to deduce that because we lack a penis, we are not able to get erections. Is everybody clear on that? Good. Class dismissed.
This one amuses me to no end and not just because someone actually thought that the “dun dun dun dun” thing would get them an answer. No, this one amuses me because the “dun dun dun dun” thing actually did get them an answer. How? I demand to know who looked at those “words” and said, “Ah, yes – Sandstorm by Da Rude.” The next time I’m thinking of a song and can only come up with “It has this one line that has something to do with a girl or something”, I will immediately run to Yahoo Answers. Surely someone there will be able to solve it for me.