I’m not even going to try to lie: sometimes my job sucks. When people ask me to help them get work writing online (and I get asked this a lot), I often tell them to try anything else first. Get a job flipping burgers. Collect cans on the sidewalk. Do anything other than what I do. The hours are long, the pay is barely enough to live on and the comments? Don’t even get me started on the comments. I’ve been called an idiot in every possible way imaginable. At the same time, I get paid to do something I genuinely love doing. I get paid to write and that is pretty terrific. I also get to go to work in my pajamas which is also pretty cool.
One major upside to this job is getting to write for sites like Lists World. Some of the topics I’m asked to write about interest me a little less than others but for the most part, I get to write about interesting things and learn a little something in the process. One of my favorite parts of writing for Lists World is getting handed assignments like this one. I love laughing almost as much as I love writing so this one is right up my ally. We’ve already covered the funniest Yahoo questions and answers, the best funny text messages and the best funny Facebook statuses so I knew funny signs had to be coming soon and I was very excited for that indeed. I love funny signs. There are tons of great websites out there dedicated solely to funny signs and funny packaging but like funny text messages, funny Yahoo questions and funny Facebook statuses, going through pages and pages of user submitted humor to find stuff that’s actually funny can be a bit, well, mind numbing. I’m here to help. I’ve gone through the “most popular” category on my favorite funny signs website (Sign Spotting) looking for the best of the best. I avoided anything that was clearly fake, wasn’t that funny or has already been all over the internet. A word about fakes though: I included a few signs that had letters removed or painted over but cut out anything that had been digitally altered. Okay, now that we have all that out of the way, let’s get started.
50: And I was worried they’d be rip off fake watches
Date: October 28, 2011
Location: Selcuk, Turkey
I’m not certain this shop owner knows what the word “genuine” means.
Date: November 28, 2010
Location: Genoa, Italy
I … just don’t even know what this could mean. I have absolutely no idea but it looks terrifying.
48: It’s urgent!
Date: June 19, 2011
Location: Koh Tao
I have been there many, many times – you have to go so bad but you just can’t find the bathroom. Finally, a sign for that moment.
47: And people say there’s no such thing as truth in advertising.
Date: January 5, 2012
Location: Monroe, Washington
Perfect! I was looking for an ugly house and all I could find was beautiful ones! Thank you, Ruth Realty.
46: This way please, hos.
Date: July 18, 2011
Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
So if you’re walking down this street and you’re allowed to use the sidewalk, should you be offended?
45: My favorite funny sign of all time.
Date: August 8, 2010
Location: Cumberland, Ohio
Out of all the funny signs on this list, this one is my favorite. I know it’s been all over the internet and back ten times over but I couldn’t do a funny signs list without including it.
44: Well that’s terrifying.
Date: December 19, 2011
Location: Tasmania, Australia
At least the Roadside Slasher was kind enough to put up a sign. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
43: Think they may have gotten the year wrong.
Date: September 13, 2011
Location: Champlin, Minnesota
I don’t know what kind of event this notice was posted at but unless they only wanted babies and toddlers to be able to drink, they got the year wrong. I hope they got the year wrong, anyway.
42: That’s just adorable.
Date: November 17, 2011
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
I don’t know why, but I think this sign is just freaking adorable. Hopefully the old fisherman also gets the right of way.
41: Wow! What a deal!
Date: May 16, 2011
This was meant to be a joke, right? RIGHT?!?
40: Since you become hard … ?
Date: October 3, 2011
Location: Miyajima Island, Japan
I’m sorry but if you’re becoming hard when a hill becomes a steep slope, you may want to do a lot more than walk slowly.
Date: June 21, 2012
Location: Melbourne, Australia
I have no idea what kind of emergency you would be in to feel that heaven was your best option but whatever that emergency may be, there is a sign for it.
38: When a simple ‘Do Not Enter’ just isn’t enough.
Date: June 23, 2012
Location: Sydney Aquarium, Sydney, Australia
The only thing better than the “if the fall does not kill you, the crocodile will” message is the stick man depiction of that exact thing happening. I adore this sign. I want one for my living room wall.
37: That’s sad in a really creepy way.
Date: August 6, 2012
Cancer isn’t funny. We all know it isn’t funny. Even so, this sign made me laugh. Seriously though – cigarettes give you cancer. It’s a bad habit. If you don’t smoke now, don’t start. It’s gross and it’s real freaking hard to quit (speaking from experience – 5th time’s the charm? Maybe?)
36: What kind of restaurant is this??
Date: September 16, 2011
Location: Bangkok, Thailand
Yeah … I’m going to have to go with the cabbages on this one.
35: Now that’s a warning!
Date: October 8, 2010
Location: South Carolina
What’s more frightening than a big, bad guard dog? A big bad guard dog with a gun! Especially if he’s crazy! I’m staying away from that place.
34: I’d rather not, thanks.
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: Wudangshan, Hubei, China
Perhaps if I were able to slip and fall down carefully as opposed to slipping and falling down in the most spectacularly ungraceful ways possible, I’d: a) have far less bruises and b) spend much less of my time being humiliated.
33: Try the new … what now?
Date: October 19, 2011
Location: Pleasant Grove, Utah
Hey, I love McDonald’s as much as the next person but I think I’ll be skipping this new addition to the menu. It sounds … painful, doesn’t it? While I’ve been told I need to be open minded and try new things, there is a limit, my friends. There is a limit.
32: Brilliant. Just Brilliant.
Date: July 26, 2011
Location: Ballard, Washington
A few things are clear here. First, the folks who made this sign really don’t want you to drink the water. Second, they really know exactly how to make sure people aren’t going to drink that water. And the little image that goes with the text? Fantastic.
31: Falling cows and … cow poop, perhaps?
Date: June 13, 2011
Location: Red River, New Mexico
I don’t entirely get what’s going on here but I can say with certainty that I do not want to travel down that road.
30: Well that explains it.
Date: July 18, 2011
Location: Blue Mountains, Australia
I’d like to think it isn’t necessary to tell people why getting a limb ripped off as the result of sticking it out of moving train is a bad thing but there are just some people out there who need a reason for everything. The makers of this sign have given them the answer they need.
29: It isn’t just the owners that need reminding.
Date: October 7, 2012
Location: Marmora, Ontario
I’m Canadian so I get the whole bilingual signage thing but is this taking it a little too far? Heck no! I just wish I spoke dog so I really understood what it said. My guess is that it pertains to making sure they pick up after their owners. Humans are messy.
28: Won’t somebody please think of the fish?
Date: April 20, 2010
Location: Paradise Island, Bahamas
Good luck, fish. Quitting smoking is the hardest thing you’ll ever do. I’m with you, guys!
27: Take that, authority!
Date: June 17, 2010
Location: South Africa
That’s it, bird! You tell ’em. Stick it to the man! Seriously though – someone probably should’ve told the sign maker that birds aren’t actually able to understand signs like this one … or are they?
26: … Okay. I’ll do my best.
Date: September 16, 2011
Location: Montgomery, Texas
I’m … sorry. Am I missing something here? Perhaps something that would be vital to swimming, at one’s own risk or not? Something like … a body of water, perhaps? But okay – if I decided to take a dip in that grassy field, I will do so fully understanding there is no lifeguard to save me if I start drowning. Somehow don’t think that would be a big problem though.
25: I’m not sure what I should be most disturbed by.
Date: May 18, 2010
There is just so much wrong with this picture. First, I think it’s quite politically incorrect to refer call any child ‘slow’ these days. Second, hunting children is just flat out wrong regardless of what weapon you use – slow or not. There had to have been a better way to word the first sign (perhaps, “Slow: children at play” or “Slow – children at play”) and there absolutely had to have been another place to put that second sign – some place that didn’t imply you were only allowed to hunt slow children with shotguns. “Sure you can hunt our slow children, sir, but you better not even think about using a hand gun!”
24: Discombobulated after a long flight? We have you covered!
Date: February 18, 2013
Location: Mitchell International Airport, Milwaukee, Wisonsin
Oh how I need one of these in my home. How I need one of these in my home so badly! I have no idea what would be in a “recombobulation” area but I would pay good money to find out.
23: No Boy Toys? Screw that. I’m going home.
Date: November 14, 2011
Location: Anaheim, California
I totally get what this sign is all about but come on – wouldn’t there be a better way to say it. Let me help: “We Are Currently Out Of Toys for Boys”. You’re welcome.
22: Obscene Cuisine
Date: August 1, 2011
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Surely someone could’ve pointed out how bad this looked. No one will ever be able to convince me there was no chance for someone to point out what a fantastically bad idea this sign was.
21: Armed robbery strictly forbidden.
Date: September 20, 2011
Location: Eskilstuna, Sweden
Well thank heavens for that sign. Without it, I would’ve thought armed robbers were welcome with open arms.
20: So … what should I do, exactly?
Date: April 2, 2012
Location: Fresno, California
I don’t have a driver’s license although I plan to get one soon. Will this be on the test because it seems like a trick question to me. I would think they could’ve been, well, a little more clear on this one. It’s an entrance only but boy, you better not think about using it as such.
19: Now this is my kind of sign.
Date: December 12, 2011
I would be willing to bet people were more likely to slow down for this sign than the usual “children at play” signs. It’s just so charming. How could you resist?
18: I don’t want to know what this could mean.
Date: October 16, 2011
Location: Coimbatore, India
I’m guessing they were going for … prone, maybe? I hope? If not, I really fear for the three people we see walking in the photo. I don’t know what they’re in for, but I don’t think I like it.
17: But … but …
Date: November 25, 2011
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
What if the room is on fire but you haven’t yet gone up in flames? Do you wait for that to happen before you head out the fire exit or is it okay to break the rules under those circumstances. I gotta tell ya, I wouldn’t be waiting around in a burning room. I’d be out the door.
16: Okay, you really need to make up your mind.
Date: September 22, 2011
Location: Washington, D.C.
So we’re going to have to ask that you stop without stopping, thanks. How? Well, that’s for you to figure out, isn’t it. Is it really any surprise that this confused sign was found at the Pentagon? It shouldn’t be if you’re at all familiar with politics.
15: If you’re gonna buy one, you might as well take two.
Date: February 13, 2012
Location: Bodden Town, Cayman Islands
I wasn’t planning on buying a jerk but I never have been able to pass up a good two for one sale.
14: We ride deer like horses in Canada all the time.
Date: February 11, 2012
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia
No seriously, we don’t. Please don’t spread that rumor. There is enough weird stuff that floats around about us Canadians already. I don’t want to contribute to that. I have never seen a person riding a deer like a horse. Polar bears? Yes. A moose? Once or twice, but never a deer.
13: Wow, surprisingly cheap.
Date: December 1, 2011
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
I always wondered how much it would cost to buy a country. Now I know.
12: Perhaps this one should’ve gotten a little more thought.
Date: December 11, 2012
Location: Throop, Pennsylvania
These people really had their heart in the right place. They just wanted to help the victims of Hurricane Sandy which as we know ravaged New Jersey. The problem with the sign isn’t the intent behind it. It’s the, well, less than ideal way it was worded. There are a few ways this sign could’ve been worded: “Collecting donations for the victims of Hurricane Sandy” or “Collecting donations for victims in New Jersey” – either of those would’ve been fine. The way it’s worded though, it kind of sounds like New Jersey went on some kind of horrific rampage and wreaked havoc all over the east coast.
11: Assorted. They meant assorted … I hope.
Date: November 30, 2012
Location: Hagerstown, Maryland
Story time: A few years back I worked at a CD store in the local mall. I started there when I was sixteen part time and was promoted to assistant manager when I was 21. The promotion came with a lot of new responsibilities, including filling out consignment contracts with local artists so we could sell their CDs in the store. Christmas was always the busiest time at the store. We’d have two cash registers open (all we had) and would have lineups clear to the back of the store. During this Christmas rush, I was working one of the cash registers when a local artist came to drop off more CDs and pick up the payment owing for the last batch he’d sold out of. I was in a hurry – customers were getting impatient. I needed to sign my name on the contracts and my position at the store. I decided to abbreviate my position to ‘Ass. Man’. When I strolled into work the next day, my boss greeted me with, “Good morning, Ass Man.” I was confused until he showed me the contract. The nickname stuck and I was “Ass Man” for the rest of my time at the store, even after I was promoted to manager at 24. So I get you CVS. I can totally understand how that happened. I feel your pain in a very personal way.
10: One needs to make sure their elf is safe in the event of an emergency.
Date: January 17, 2013
Location: Naniamo, British Columbia
I really don’t know why this one made me laugh as hard as it did. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that, in general, I find elves hilarious.
09: What a brilliant business name … kind of.
Date: September 22, 2011
Location: Denver, Colorado
While the name may scare off some, if I were in the area, I’d absolutely have to get my hair done at this salon. I’d just have to. Brilliant name.
08: Yeah … not so sure that sign is accurate.
Date: September 16, 2011
Location: Lake Placid, New York
Holy crap!! I can see it! Do I have some sort of super power? Is it some sort of magic invisible fence that is only visible when photographed?
07: Fining the dead seems a little counterproductive.
Date: June 29, 2011
Location: Newcastle, Australia
Well, I gotta hand it to the Newcastle Tramway Authority. They really don’t want you to touch those wires and they make that pretty clear. Hey, if the whole instant death thing doesn’t scare you, maybe the hefty fine will. I think one of those skull and crossbones symbols should really be a dollar sign though – or maybe the skulls could have dollar sign eyes. Get on it, Newcastle Tramway Authority.
06: Um … why?
Date: August 1, 2011
Location: Dive Boat in South Louisiana
I can see why this would be important in certain, um, adult related industries but outside of those industries, it seems a little excessive, does it not? I mean, washing your genitals is a pretty good habit to get into but I’m not sure you should be washing that stuff at work.
05: Not so old fashioned anymore.
Date: February 28, 2012
Location: Kanub, Utah
Oh my. I’m not sure this one is real but I couldn’t help posting it all the same. It’s just so wrong on so many levels. I have absolutely nothing else to say about this one.
04: I feel bad for the girls that used to work there.
Date: August 20, 2011
Location: Grand Prairie, Texas
If you have a strip club and you have to state “we now have all pretty girls” on your sign, you probably should’ve been a little more discerning when you hired people the first time around.
03: The spelling is shocking but look at those prices!
Date: May 4, 2010
Location: Manila, Philippines
I don’t know about you but I could really go for a hamen chiz right now. Sounds almost as delicious as the burjer with eggen chiz. Also, I’m pretty sure my spell check is about to blow up.
02: Someone didn’t think this through.
Date: August 7, 2011
Location: Calgary, Alberta
I don’t think you’re supposed to advertise stuff like this. Just pointing that out.
01: Very honest job posting.
Date: August 25, 2011
Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Well someone has to manage it, I suppose.
Wanda you are so darn funny!!! Im not sure how I came across your blogs but im so glad I did!! so entertaining! well done